The things I hear myself saying outloud in the course of any given day are sometimes, in a word, astounding.
And so it goes that the things I sometimes hear my little people say are sometimes, in a word, astounding.
So much so, that I occasionally wonder if there is a hidden microphone/camera in our house or backyard with loads of footage that have rendered me a viral sensation. Only, I am unaware of it.
Today was one of those afternoons.
GoGo has been under the weather this weekend and apparently still a bit on the pissy side of wellness. She and D were playing in the backyard this afternoon. Agent P and I watched the seemingly sweet scene unfold from our kitchen window. I see them poking things with big sticks-I see D telling GoGo something rather emphatically. I see her begin to gesture wildly and while I can't understand her, I sense her volume button is being pushed up.
Suddenly, she is in the tree. Yes, after spazzing out she decided to climb a tree.
D watches her and slowly backs up and begins to head for the back door. Meanwhile, she is yelling and looks to have a foot stuck. So I open the door and ask him to help his sister. He informs he can't because as he approaches the tree, she begins to yell and kick her one unstuck foot in his direction. So I leave Agent P in his care for a brief moment, throw on boots and rescue GoGo and her stuck foot. She tells me, "Thanks Mom. I just was waiting around for you." Right.
Agent P wakes from her nap with a thick diaper. Being the experienced mother that I am, I decide to change her diaper as she is standing. This is something I've done in many public restrooms, parking decks and on the side of Interstate 40. I am up for the task.
I see what appears to be a very tiny skidmark in her diaper so I am thinking just a Toot Gone Wrong.
But, no. GoGo is the first to sight the corncob size turd hanging out of her butt and alerts me to the fact that MOMMY, YOU NEED WIPES!! Yes, yes I do.
I broke one of my rules and let all 3 children bathe together in my big tub tonight. Dinner was a messy affair for Agent P, D had cubscouts tonight and really I was just too lazy to have multiple tubs operating with dirty children that needed soap and tending. Okay.
So I catch D and GoGo having a Weiner Kicking Contest in the tub. I give them the standard lecture about their "privates" and how no one else is allowed to touch them and vice versa. I reiterate how only THEY can touch their privates. So D tells me after my little speech, "Ok, I'm touching mine right now."
For the love of PETE.
GoGo tells me tonight that a lot of boys like to look at her. Who, I ask. Some in her class. They look at her, she tells me, because they think she is funny and they want to M-A-R-R-Y her (she mouths the word marry). Really? Already, with this?
I also identified the child who used my toilet and didn't flush by the looks of their turds today, was told I was mean for yelling after an entire bowl of popcorn was dropped on the floor and a picture frame broken due to an unruly pillow and had it suggested that there was a baby in my tummy since it is "So Big".
Seriously? WHERE are the microphones and cameras? Is this what motherhood looks like in other homes? Thank God for tomorrows. And little people to make me laugh until I cry.
Spring and Fever
What a weekend. Glorious, play outside/grill burgers/enjoy a Blue Moon/ visit with the neighbors kind of weather. A really nice surprise for January and of course, shortlived.
My D was absolutely filthy all weekend-thank God for Bog boots - the only things separating his sweet piggies from unfiltered filth and mud.
He has been so busy lately playing with neighborhood friends that he felt it necessary to create this sign for our front door.
I have no idea where the rusty grill top came from or why he's holding it like a discus.
This is what my driveway looked like most of the weekend.
My GoGo was under the weather and actually came home early from her much anticipated Father/Daughter dance Friday night...but she still managed to enjoy some Vitamin D.
Notice her new smile, to very clearly let everyone she meets know that she has LOST 2 TEETH.
Agent P has an obsession with her belly button and exposing it to anyone with the gift of sight.
I could Eat.Her.Up.
Meanwhile, I am going to the doc on Tuesday for my annual "Something is Wrong With Me, Therefore I MUST Have Cancer" visit. Stay tuned.
And on the Third Day...
We enjoyed a "Groundhog Day". Same bat channel.
Same snow/ice, same sibling arguments, same neighborhood kids at the house, same TV on, same clothes dryer running, same hot cocoa, same snuggled up reading.
This one looked like the Michelin Man bundled up, which didn't last long. She enjoyed snacking and playtime inside.
D was outside for quite a while yesterday, but required some Wii time to unwind and bond with Agent P.
This one surprised me. She is not a snow-bunny by nature. She loves shorts, sparkly sandels and the beach. But she hit the slope at my neighbor's house yesterday and never looked back.
Runner Girl
I used to be one. Back in the day.
I miss it sometimes. In spring when the air smells all green and fresh and you just long to be outside 24/7, I miss track season.
- I miss the sound of my shoes hitting the pavement and the breathing patterns of fellow runners
- I miss the smell of Icy Hot in the locker room after practice
- I miss bus rides to out-of-town meets where we sung "We Are the Champions"
- I miss winning. A lot.
So in between all the missing and winning and the not making resolutions in the new year, I decided to volunteer for Girls on the Run.
It is a fantastic program and one that I want both of my girls to participate in when old enough.
It's all about self esteem, body image, discipline and a bit of fitness as well.
I figured, I used to run and win and I really do believe that it helped me get through jr high and high school so let's give it a go. Why not?
Then I received the volunteer application. Oh my word.
You would think I was attempting to immigrate to a foreign land or adopt a child or three from said foreign land.
There were the usual questions about volunteer experience, background check, etc.
But questions like "How Do you Find Balance in Your Life" threw me...do 3 cups of coffee in the a.m. and a Blue Moon in the p.m. count?
Or how about "What Skills Will you Bring to the Girls in the Program"...what skills will I bring? Hell if I know. That would require an inventory of my talents and I am afraid that wouldn't take long enough to impress anyone.
1. I am an excellent speller, and isn't that a key to life's success?
2. I can be terribly sarcastic, and everyone needs defense mechanisms to make it through life, right?
3. I am a good cook, provided I do not have to follow a recipe.
4. I have produced 3 wonderful, creative, beautiful little people and that will be on my tombstone, if nothing else comes to mind.
And so there you go. Spelling, bitchy one-liners and free wheeling in the kitchen are as good as I get.
Actually, I am very excited about helping with this program. I was not the most confident girl in school and had some drama in my backstory so running was really a great outlet for me. The track was somewhere I felt completely at home-no one messed with me, I loved my coach and I could rock out to my WALKMAN. Plus, I won all the time and now, who doesn't love that?
I got me some new kicks for running-now I just have to wear them out of my house and on to the road. Hopefully I don't blow out an ankle, pee my pants or fall down in front of a bunch of high school kids.
Life is hard enough.
I miss it sometimes. In spring when the air smells all green and fresh and you just long to be outside 24/7, I miss track season.
- I miss the sound of my shoes hitting the pavement and the breathing patterns of fellow runners
- I miss the smell of Icy Hot in the locker room after practice
- I miss bus rides to out-of-town meets where we sung "We Are the Champions"
- I miss winning. A lot.
So in between all the missing and winning and the not making resolutions in the new year, I decided to volunteer for Girls on the Run.
It is a fantastic program and one that I want both of my girls to participate in when old enough.
It's all about self esteem, body image, discipline and a bit of fitness as well.
I figured, I used to run and win and I really do believe that it helped me get through jr high and high school so let's give it a go. Why not?
Then I received the volunteer application. Oh my word.
You would think I was attempting to immigrate to a foreign land or adopt a child or three from said foreign land.
There were the usual questions about volunteer experience, background check, etc.
But questions like "How Do you Find Balance in Your Life" threw me...do 3 cups of coffee in the a.m. and a Blue Moon in the p.m. count?
Or how about "What Skills Will you Bring to the Girls in the Program"...what skills will I bring? Hell if I know. That would require an inventory of my talents and I am afraid that wouldn't take long enough to impress anyone.
1. I am an excellent speller, and isn't that a key to life's success?
2. I can be terribly sarcastic, and everyone needs defense mechanisms to make it through life, right?
3. I am a good cook, provided I do not have to follow a recipe.
4. I have produced 3 wonderful, creative, beautiful little people and that will be on my tombstone, if nothing else comes to mind.
And so there you go. Spelling, bitchy one-liners and free wheeling in the kitchen are as good as I get.
Actually, I am very excited about helping with this program. I was not the most confident girl in school and had some drama in my backstory so running was really a great outlet for me. The track was somewhere I felt completely at home-no one messed with me, I loved my coach and I could rock out to my WALKMAN. Plus, I won all the time and now, who doesn't love that?
I got me some new kicks for running-now I just have to wear them out of my house and on to the road. Hopefully I don't blow out an ankle, pee my pants or fall down in front of a bunch of high school kids.
Life is hard enough.
It Can Change on a Dime
As in Life, can.
I heard that phrase a lot growing up. My grandma used to remind me of it when telling me to "do right" because you never knew when it would be "your time".
When you are a 15 year old girl who knows everything, this doesn't carry much weight. But now as a 38 year old mother of three whose own mother died at only 31, I can feel the load.
Like so many things in life, it usually takes some sort of calamity to shake people into realizing the goodness all around them. People mean well-they love a lot, pray much and work hard. But it's easy to take things for granted when you have the luxury of waking up in your own bed each day and know you can walk across the room to hug your child or friend.
I have a very dear friend. She made my high school days much more palatable. We commiserated about asshole first-boyfriends and rocked out to John Mellencamp until our brains were mush. I could walk into her house and open the right cabinet to find the cookies. I lived at her house as much as my own it seemed in those days. We got into trouble together, had entirely too much fun together and laugh about it all now.
She is a great mom and friend. Her life changed in a single instant. Out of the blue.
Whenever anything happens to someone young, there is stunned silence. I was actually unable to speak for about 90 seconds yesterday when hearing the news.
This girl is vivacious, has a smile that lights up a room and a great laugh. It shouldn't be her. It can't be her. But it is, so I am praying non-stop that God holds her in the palm of His hand. I am using all my mental telethapy to tell her to FIGHT! Come on, man! We have porksteaks to barbeque, Blue Moons to drink and many laughs to still enjoy. Don't leave the party just yet-we haven't got into nearly enough trouble.
Love the one you're with. Love you ADM.
I heard that phrase a lot growing up. My grandma used to remind me of it when telling me to "do right" because you never knew when it would be "your time".
When you are a 15 year old girl who knows everything, this doesn't carry much weight. But now as a 38 year old mother of three whose own mother died at only 31, I can feel the load.
Like so many things in life, it usually takes some sort of calamity to shake people into realizing the goodness all around them. People mean well-they love a lot, pray much and work hard. But it's easy to take things for granted when you have the luxury of waking up in your own bed each day and know you can walk across the room to hug your child or friend.
I have a very dear friend. She made my high school days much more palatable. We commiserated about asshole first-boyfriends and rocked out to John Mellencamp until our brains were mush. I could walk into her house and open the right cabinet to find the cookies. I lived at her house as much as my own it seemed in those days. We got into trouble together, had entirely too much fun together and laugh about it all now.
She is a great mom and friend. Her life changed in a single instant. Out of the blue.
Whenever anything happens to someone young, there is stunned silence. I was actually unable to speak for about 90 seconds yesterday when hearing the news.
This girl is vivacious, has a smile that lights up a room and a great laugh. It shouldn't be her. It can't be her. But it is, so I am praying non-stop that God holds her in the palm of His hand. I am using all my mental telethapy to tell her to FIGHT! Come on, man! We have porksteaks to barbeque, Blue Moons to drink and many laughs to still enjoy. Don't leave the party just yet-we haven't got into nearly enough trouble.
Love the one you're with. Love you ADM.
Yes, You Can
My D is so sweet. I love to see his face light up when he discovers something for the first time. Tonight he learned that a person can go to college anywhere they want, not just in Charlotte or NC. You should have seen his eyes when he realized he could go to college in California. So then I had to teach him about something called scholarships. Because he will need a few to go to school in the land of sun and silicone.
Then he tells me he wants to go to school where Daddy went...(in-state tuition). I tell him great, that's a good choice. Apparently that was too much parental approval because then he tells me Well, Maybe.
Yes, let's not limit ourselves at the ripe old age of 7.
Then he tells me he wants to go to school where Daddy went...(in-state tuition). I tell him great, that's a good choice. Apparently that was too much parental approval because then he tells me Well, Maybe.
Yes, let's not limit ourselves at the ripe old age of 7.
Meanwhile while cooking dinner, I overhear GoGo tell Agent P "she's going to get served". I don't know if she meant at the ABC store or by a flying fist, but neither one can be good for a 19-month old.
And maybe that is why Agent P rocked the furrowed brow this afternoon.
And So it Begins
Another year.
Another chance to do right, make right, live right.
A clean slate.
I gave up New Year resolutions a long time ago. I don't keep them. I try to, but it never seems to work out in my favor.
Instead I'm going to just give thanks I woke up another day and see where that leads me.
Sure, I have a long list of things I would like to do this year...take horseback lessons, learn to play guitar, improve my photography, bake better, workout more. Oh and of course, BE A BETTER MOM.
Can't forget that one.
But what will I really do, in the end?
Definitely the better mom thing. These aren't house plants I'm raising. These little people deserve 110% and then-some when it comes to their childhood. Plus, I can't save for college, weddings AND therapy.
I will probably fore-go the horse and guitar lessons for myself to give swim lessons and summer camps to my kids instead. No martyr here, just enough Catholic guilt to last a lifetime.
I will work on my photography, thoroughlyusing highlighting my beautiful children.
I will workout more because I haven't been this flabby in a while, even with 3 kids.
Hmm. That leaves the baking thing...I will use my stand mixer more often to create Food Network worthy desserts. Hmm.
See why I gave up resolutions long ago?
Another chance to do right, make right, live right.
A clean slate.
I gave up New Year resolutions a long time ago. I don't keep them. I try to, but it never seems to work out in my favor.
Instead I'm going to just give thanks I woke up another day and see where that leads me.
Sure, I have a long list of things I would like to do this year...take horseback lessons, learn to play guitar, improve my photography, bake better, workout more. Oh and of course, BE A BETTER MOM.
Can't forget that one.
But what will I really do, in the end?
Definitely the better mom thing. These aren't house plants I'm raising. These little people deserve 110% and then-some when it comes to their childhood. Plus, I can't save for college, weddings AND therapy.
I will probably fore-go the horse and guitar lessons for myself to give swim lessons and summer camps to my kids instead. No martyr here, just enough Catholic guilt to last a lifetime.
I will work on my photography, thoroughly
I will workout more because I haven't been this flabby in a while, even with 3 kids.
Hmm. That leaves the baking thing...I will use my stand mixer more often to create Food Network worthy desserts. Hmm.
See why I gave up resolutions long ago?
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